Unwanted Feelings I Hold Onto
by India Weasley Took
Summary: SONGFIC This is a song fic for the song “Hold On” by Jet. It’s what I think Harry is thinking. Really no plot, just Harry’s feelings. The feelings that he holds onto without wanting to. They just stay.


Song fic for "Hold On" Unwanted Feelings I Hold Onto  
  
This is a song fic for the song "Hold On" by Jet. It's what I think Harry is thinking. Really no plot, just Harry's feelings. His feelings that he holds onto without wanting to. They just stay.  
  
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_You tried so hard to be someone  
  
That you forgot who you are_  
  
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Harry looked up at the sky and took a deep breath. Then he let it out and saw his breath like steam. It was cold out and he knew that he really shouldn't be out here like this. Who was he? A hero? Then how come so many people hated him? A hero had admirers, and they stayed like that. They weren't on and off again like his were. They weren't admirers. They were just people who liked to gossip.  
  
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_You tried to fill some emptiness  
  
Till all you had spilled over_  
  
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He tried. He really did. But no one was ever there to support him. Ron and Hermione were great to him, but they couldn't stop an entire newspaper from printing something bad about him. He tired to control everything but when he did, it would all just go wrong.  
  
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_Now everything's so far away  
  
That you don't know where are  
  
You are  
_  
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Harry threw a rock at the wall. He crouched on the ground and rocked back and forth, mumbling nonsense to himself. Was this where he belonged? Everything felt far away and distant. Nothing felt real. Where did he really belong?  
  
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_When all that you wanted  
  
When all that you had don't seem so much  
  
For you to hold onto  
  
For you to hold onto  
  
For you to belong to_  
  
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He had all he wanted. Before when he lived at the Dursley's without any friends, all he prayed for was friends and a place to sleep where he didn't dread the next morning. He had that now. But now..........it didn't feel like so much. Now it just felt........he didn't know. Nothing was right. He had it all, and now it only brought him anger.  
  
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_When it's hard to be yourself  
  
It's not to be someone else  
  
Still everything's so far away  
  
That you forget where you are  
  
You are  
_  
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He turned around and shouted to sky "Who am I??? WHY DO I DESERVE ALL THIS??? WHY ME??" He yelled at the top of his lungs then stopped and listened to it echo off the mountains. "I don't want to be myself." He thought. "I want to be someone else for some time. Just a bit. Just to see what it's like!!!"  
  
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_When all that you wanted  
  
When all that you had don't seem so much  
  
For you to hold onto  
  
For you to hold onto_  
  
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He looked at his hands and touched his face with them. This face.....these eyes.....that had seen so much. Had done so much. Had felt so much. Why did he have to be the one? And now everything he had felt like nothing.  
  
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_Hold on  
  
Hold on_  
  
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"Stay strong." He told himself. "Don't let this come in the way of friendships or other important things." He told himself that, but sometimes he found himself yelling anyway. Even with this unsaid vow he made with himself, he still got angry at loved ones for no reason. And what had they done to make him angry? Nothing. Maybe he was just frustrated that he couldn't yell at the real people causing him pain and took it out on them.  
  
In any case, he couldn't let this happen. He had to hold on to these relationships. They could be the last things he has in the end.  
  
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_When all that you wanted  
  
When all that you had don't seem so much  
  
For you to hold onto  
  
For you to hold onto  
  
For you to hold onto_  
  
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"Just stay strong. Don't let this kill you." He paced back and forth, words and memories buzzing in his head. He looked at his watch. Two am. Time to go in. He was cold anyway.  
  
But what was he? "Where do I belong?"  
  
_For you to belong to_


End file.
